How not to piss off a Malaysian girl on a date

Excuse the language in the title, but with Valentines day around the corner, you’d better make sure you don’t make your date angry. If you’re a Malaysian guy hoping to take things further with your girlfriend on valentines day, here’s how not to ruin it for the two of you.

If you’re not a Malaysian guy and you’re taking a Malaysian girl on a date, well lucky you! Malaysian girls can be picky when dating foreigners because of foreigners’ bad reputation. (I’m looking at you – every angmoh banker guy that’s ever thought he was God’s gift to women ever).

Based on interviewing some Malaysian girls, here’s what really pisses them off on a date. (Names have been omitted for privacy, but these are real quotes from real Malaysian girls)

“Please try not to stare at your phone the whole date”

“In fact. Just turn it off.”

“Be polite to wait-staff”

“I’ve seen it countless times across Asia where the guy has tried to pretend he’s a big-shot by treating wait-staff like they don’t exist or are idiots. Some people are horrifyingly rude to the people serving them – and that kinda indicates how you’ll be other people in future. Rudeness never impresses anyone ever.”

“For the love of God – DON’T BE LATE”

“I’m ready to be picked up at the time you’ve given me and have to wait another 30 minutes for you to arrive, I’d prefer you didn’t pick me up at all.”

“If you’re going to be late, say so!”

“Preferably get there BEFORE the time given, not 10 minutes after. Maybe Malaysians should probably just stop being late by default.”

“Leave your bad manners at home”

“I went on a date with a guy who kept on spitting into the street. That was the first and last date.”

“Don’t use that Godforsaken ‘mouse kissing’ noise to call waiters”

“‘Waiter’ probably not also, because only snobbish characters calling ‘waiter!’ What’s wrong with a politely requested ‘Excuse Me?'”

“Don’t call me too ‘aggressive’ or ‘too independent'”

“I can lend you some of my balls if you like”

“Shower and deodorant please”

“The kids in my school stunk of body odour. I don’t want to date a school kid.”

“Don’t talk about yourself the whole time”

“This annoys the crap out of girls”
(I think that applies in any country)

“Do not brag about what you do for a living or where you went to school”

“It means nothing to me about where you went to school or what you do for a living. Especially don’t talk about how much you earn – blergh! It really doesn’t mean a whole lot to the other person if they already like you.”

“Don’t try to over impress the girl”

“Don’t try to over impress the girl or lie to the girl to impress her it will just make you look like a douche.”

Go easy on the ‘Product’

“I can’t stand guys who use too much hair product, and are fixing their hair constantly.”

“It’s a turn off to go out with a guy that I can’t put my hands anywhere near to for fear of tetanus.”

Don’t drop the “I love you” bomb on your crush.

“Seriously lah. I freak out when people suddenly say they love me, and then ask for a date.”

“OMG not another mall date”

“The mall date is dead boring to my taste. Go bowling, or ice skating, or boat ride. Treat your first date as a ‘date trying to guarantee you for another date’ date. If she wants a repeat, you win.”

“Make sure she gets home safe”

“If she’s driving there, always walk the girl to her car.”

“If you are the one who picked her up, make sure she gets back to her front door or lift up to her apartment before you drive off. It is one of my biggest pet peeve when going out with guys.”

“Let her hear, not see, you leave.”

And most importantly…

“Get to know her, let her know you better. Ask about her family and dreams and future and whatever in her mind. Enjoy your date with her. She’s already chosen to go on a date with you, which means she must like you a little bit already.”

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